I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
