Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
