I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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