I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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