well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
