We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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