Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
