If i come over, it means nothing
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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