Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
