so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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