Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
