I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
