I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
