So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
