I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
