i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
