just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
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