If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
