the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
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