; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
