I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize