One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
