I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
