please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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