Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
