Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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