i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
