90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
