I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
