Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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