i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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