Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
