It's like a parade of train wrecks.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
