whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
