And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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