I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
