the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Come on in and take your pants off
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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