Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
