OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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