god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
