Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
