Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
