Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
