we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
