Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
