I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
