So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
