I'm jealous of your bromance
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
