I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
we should paint friendship bongs
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