take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
