cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
