Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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