I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
