3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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