god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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