One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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