Im at strip club and am horny
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
