well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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