i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Can I color on your dick again?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
