I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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