Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
