Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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