i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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