there's paper in my vomit.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize