john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
