I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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