woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
