i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
