She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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